Trip to North II: Ellaha and her daughters

We drove seven hours from Kunduz to Mazar-e Sharif. It is a long journey, but landscape is stunning. We pass the terraces of Surkh Kotal, which was the acropolis of King Kanishka, who ruled 1900 years ago. Landscape varies from desert to oasis. After the mountain range there is an interesting narrow gorge.
While driving I am thinking about Ellaha. I met this Badakshan-born lady at the birthday party of Nirvana, daughter of my friend Waheed. I was impressed with Ellaha and her four daughters. Ellaha has been working for Swedish NGO and she has been abroad many times. Older daughter Farangis worked as an English language teacher and dreamed about the career of a lawyer.
Second time we meet in Kunduz. Ellaha is asking me to visit her house. The family seems to be glad to see me: there is plenty of food on the table and even busy husband Bahman is at home to see the guest. The walls of the hall are covered with large papers. Poetry of famous Persian poets as Umar Hajjami, Saadi or Rumi is written there. Some poems are written by landlord Bahman himself.
Bahman seems to be very interested about our life in Estonia: he looks through the book about Estonia what I bring as a present. Still I can feel melancholy in the air.
Cheerless younger daughters, as fragile gazelles, sit in the corner. I already know why the older daughter Farangis is unhuppy: she didn’t pass the test to enter the university. I try to cheer her up that there will be another possibility next year.
After husband Bahman leaves, Ellaha explains the situation. Her husband has been a chief of Kunduz province administration for a couple of years. It is a high position; he is the most important officer after governor. Ellaha and her daughters stayed at Kabul. As husband and farther, Bahman felt lonely. He asked her family to move to Kunduz as well. Ellaha had to quit her job, because of a delicate subject of gender issues.
It seems that there are not many educated people to communicate with. And there are no possibilities to practice English language. Conservatism is the most difficult to accept for the family. Ellaha says that women of only 3-4 families who doesn’t wear burkas. And citizens of Kunduz don’t like it.
I told my husband that I will never put on a burka, says Ellaha fervently. Therefore the ladies of Ellaha family prefer to stay at home. The husband of Ellaha promised her that if the ladies won’t adapt to the conditions of Kunduz, then they can move back to Kabul a year later.
The whole day while driving from Kunduz to Mazar I meditate about this family. How vast is the gap between western style family and local traditions?